Philippines new money design

Its been a while since our country think about getting a new face for our money, and when first looked at i was astounded, it looks cooler and more presentable than ever before, and it kinda looks like a european dollar.

All the colors where still retained so we shouldn't get confused by the new looks and presentation of the money heres a sample of the new look of a 20 peso bill: Take note that the black numbers are not included,

Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas on Thursday unveiled the bank notes’ new designs, as well as its new security features.

Amando Tetangco, Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas Governor said the new currencies took three years to complete, from conceptualization and printing, now thats some serious planning and conceptualizing I'd really hope to get a job like that cause i usually get to do the conceptualizing and designing for just a few hours because of the deadline.

He said the new bills will make it “difficult for counterfeiters to copy while easier for people to determine counterfeits.”

Tetangco said the new bank notes “combine new and familiar elements.”

“We retained colors to make sure people don’t get confused,” he added.

The bills will be in circulation this December while the old bank notes will still be accepted within the next three years. In that case we should be seeing the new money really really soon. heres another image:

Money features

The new bills continue to honor great Filipinos like former presidents Manuel Quezon, Sergio Osmena, Manuel Roxas, and Diosdado Macapagal. Former senator Ninoy Aquino, and war heroes Josefa Llanes Escoda, Vicente Lim, and Jose Abad Santos are also featured on the bills. the faces looked somewhat digitally created, and looked quite really photoshopped but so far it still looked good, but for the faces i'd still prefer the old ones.

However, the P500 bill now features former President Corazon Aquino, whose photo is placed beside her husband, Ninoy. It also depicts a smiling Ninoy, a far cry from his forlorn image in the current P500 bill. heres the image:

“The decision to honor Cory Aquino in the P500 note was announced in the week that she passed away, long before their son ran for president,” said Tetangco. well what do we expect?, and take a look at their smiles, its like (yeah we rule! and our son was president too! fck ya'll haters!) hahahahaha! lols!

The P500 bill also makes history by having both parents with the signature of their son, President Benigno “Noynoy” Aquino, for the win bitches! kulang nalang si kris aquino hahaha!.

Aquino said it makes him happy “as a son and as a Filipino” to have his parents on the same bank note where his signature appears.

“It is a testament to what they sacrificed for our people, and a testament to their love for our country,” said Aquino.

All the bills continue to have these security features: embossed prints, serial numbers, security fibers and threads, and watermark. But new security features include the word “Pilipino” written in “Baybayin,” a pre-Spanish writing system, and the Republic of the Philippines seal. whew, and i suggest they put an encryption security feature with binary numbers on it, or maybe a nanogerm that reacts to a detector when scanned lols!.

The back of the P20 bill shows the Banaue Rice Terraces and an animal, Palm Civet or ‘Alamid’ in local language.

The now darker red P50 bill meanwhile shows Taal Lake and Maliputo, a fish that thrives only in the waters of the lake.

The back of the almost purple P100 bill shows ‘perfect cone’ Mayon Volcano and a Butanding, a whale shark that is a main attraction in Sorsogon.

The almost-green P200 bill shows Bohol Chocolate Hills and the world’s smallest primate found in the Philippines, the Tarsier.

Former president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo’s photo taking oath is now in front of the P200 bill but is almost not visible well what noy noy wants noy noy gets bitch! hahaha!.

The P1000 bill features the Tubbataha Reefs Natural Park and a South Sea Pearl.

well so far i think noy-noy has done something worth remembering, and try to look at that guys face, looks like a pile of shit but by the hearts of many pinoys' this person is more like gold dug on a mile of sand, yeah more like obama in america.

Project days

Ive been currently busy or a while or should i say occupied by some projects lately, and that often made me feel productive as ever, although it stresses me a lot and i get to sit a lot on the chair for hours on the day and night well i can't deny it, i need money, money is quite important in my day to day gimmicks and activities and despite the fact that im a graduate student now well that shows how badly i want to be productive these days. First project i got was a header and pilot advertisement slider design on ms. Sharon Cullens new upcoming and updated website, ive designed 5 of it, and its very well appreciated by the client, heres some sample:

The color scheme the images and the texts match up to what i expected it to be, it looked nice and great to look at, i've also enhanced the image of sharon for it to stand out on the background, adjusted some o the colors and added typography into it to turn it into an advertisement slider which practically promote sharons profession, i got paid for almost a hundred dollars for it yay! thats hours well spent! thanks to my very sweet and charming adviser and mentor Ms. Irish Racelis for you can check her blog here: http://miss-honeul.net/

Im happy to have projects flowing this holiday season, now i have the money to buy stuff for me again this christmas and i won't have to beg my mom for it! yeah!, next project i did was the whole new furbish up mockdraft website, they want the whole website updated via their requests not based on my own idea so i have to come up with ideas which has non changeable instructions upon which i should not violate,  otherwise im dead! hehe, this took me a half a day of my lifetime to create, conceptualize all the possible stuff on it eg: the fonts the typography etc etc, and choose the color scheme. but so far ive now created two pilot pages, ones on the top and the 2nd layout is on below:

For the second layout i chose a black scheme, which is not totally black but is actually a gradient made from black colors, and added up some white transparency thingy to it to spice it up a bit, changed the font to calibri and added up some minor changes, which took me again hours of conceptualize and creative thinking., and for me the second design mainly is my pick for the design and luckily they also liked it. but the pages are not finished yet, i still have some pages to create today and im going to finish it later tonight. I just hope the clients will like it. what a very productive season.

THE NEW FACEBOOK PROFILE THEME!!SUCKS!!!

Ive been pissed of by the new profile theme facebook has, and it is by far the most annoying most irritating theme of facebook ever! I mean seriously what the hell were they thinking!!!. the facebook theme totally sucks ass and I mean bigtime!!!

the first thing that irritated the shit out of me was the new news feed, seriously zuckerberg why the hell would you hide the whats on your mind option??, it just disappeared like shit and the first time it changed i never even saw it until i saw this very tiny status option!!!!When i clicked it, then it appears like shit pooped out on a rats ass!! seriously WHAT THE HELL WHERE THEY THINKING!!!!! but wait! theres more!

Take a look at the fonts of the wall post now, i know it looked much more neat and clean, but it looks smaller than the previous font! and by the look and feel, the news feed just feels like regular license agreement text that looks irritating and boring to even read! it felt so out of focus that we tend to never care about it specially if its flooded with other texts! unlike the old typography font they used which makes people interested to read specially when its on BOLD format! What the heLL!!

Next stop that just pisses me off is the profile landing page, yeah look at that, that just looks like a pile of unordered piece of shit.
- first thing is, where's the pilot post msg? the thing USUALLY PEOPLE READ WHEN THEY LAND IN YOUR PAGE!!? ITS THE TOOL FOR COMMUNICATION! THE MAIN TOOL FOR FRIENDS TO SEE WHAT YOU FEEL OR WHAT YOUR DOING IN A FREAKIN INSTANT!! THE MSG BOX THAT TELLS WHAT YOU WANT FOR PEOPLE TO SEE IMMEDIATELY!!!

ITS THE MAIN REASON WHY I DON't USE TWITTER!! cause its like a tweet box in facebook!!! why the hell remove it!!!? What the hell were they thinking!?. Is there any explanation to their "CREATIVE" IDEA?! Right Now the wallpost message looks just like the news reel shit.. OHHH your Lord..

- And also the the WHATS ON YOUR MIND thing was Gone too!, instead what they did was replaced it with basic automated shitty information about you that people will read all over and over again when they first landed on your wall, it also so just means that when you don't put in any proper information on your information tab, your Fucked UP! and for first impressions, it will look like your a first time boring facebook user and a boring person WTF!! AND WHO THE FCK CARES ABOUT THE LANGUAGE YOU KNOW??!!

- The last thing that pisses me off about the top header page is the Dreaded tag pictures!, What the Hell were they thinking?! Whats the point of posting your tagged pictures on top?!! And Some tag pictures just pisses people off because its not related or it just makes no FREAKIN SENSE!!! AND IN FACT ONE OF MY TAGGED IMAGES RIGHT NOW IS A GODDAMN SHOE SO THEY ALL SEE THE SHOE ON MY LANDING PAGE!!!ARRRRG!!!

Our next pissed of stop is on the left side o the landing page, Take a look at the profile picture alignment, it sticks on the left border line of the page! you think that looked creative zucker?!!! well ask 20 thousand creative web people who's also pissed of by it, and you will see!!.

And take a look at the friend and relationship tab, It generates random friends every reload and i don't get the point upon posting it there!!! who cares about randomly generated friends if people can just click the tab to see it if they're interested!!

The freedom wall on the left side is also gone! Holyy COW!!!, Now I can't even post any recent stuff i wanted my friends to show! such as my blogs, accomplishments, recent stuffs or Quotes Or links!! DAMMIT! ITS YOUR MAIN PILOT PAGE THAT PEOPLE WOULD CARE TO LOOK AT IN JUST A MINUTE! TO SHOW THINGS YOU DO OR UPDATES, WHO THE HELL WOULD GIVE A DAMN ABOUT RANDOMLY GENERATED FRIENDS!. On the old facebook profile you can customize it by the way you want it But now, NO!!! TO HELL YOU USERS!! THE NEW THEME DON't GIVE A DAMN!


And By Far THE most WORST THING THAT PISSES ME OFF IS, YOU CAN'T TURN IT BACK TO ITS DEFAULT THEME!!! O YES!!! THATS THE CREAM OF THE CRAP!!!.

Facebook gave users the chance or privilege to CHOOSE an option!!, The HECK?! CHOOSE?! WHEN you click the change profile option! It HAS NO OPTION TO TURN THE PAGE BACK TO ITS OLD COOL CREATIVE THEME!! Now thats a WINNER!

Overall it just pisses me off like hell, it looks generic, Im pissed off by the typography, the landing page and everything new to it specially the left panel bar, its my own opinion about it, and instead of just doing nothing and acting like a stereotype generic slave and wait for it to change ill write what I feel Just Like thousands of people that's pissed off by it..

tagaytay, my dream home

im so freaking stessed out and getting paranoid for the up and coming foundation week 2010, so after all the planning and stressful situations ive decided to unwind by going to tagaytay early on the morning with friends, to drink coffee and to feel the cold breeze of the air around my whole body,it was my first time going to that place that early and it was also my first time to get to chill out and feel tagaytay.

we've went there at 4:30 am, when almost all the people are sleeping and the cold breeze is still at its peak, our stopover was at summit ridge where theres a starbucks coffee shop for us to hang out and chill because my friend told me that it was open for 24 hours, but when we went to the place the whole establishment was closed and there where no people on the mall but us, it felt like we were on a zombie apocalypse shit that time, and boy o boy we took pictures and we had fun. despite the fact that it was cold and we were freezing at 5 am it rained, rain poured hard and mother nature let me experience how cool tagaytay is, but wait! theres more!HAHA!

On top you see a picture of me close to the summit ridge logo, it was 5 am in the morning drunked and with no sleep, now thats a way to relax is it?. So after we went to the comfort room in the mall we decided to go 7 eleven, which was obviously open 24 hours, and boy oh boy we were all wet by the breeze and the rain.

Going inside 7 eleven, we saw some couple of people drinking coffee, so we decided to buy some ourselves, It was my first time buying expensive coffee at 7 eleven, its nice to have those free sugar and creamer, all you have to do is serve yourself and pay at counter, so i picked vanilla latte and my friend paid for all the expenses, what a great friend indeed!.

Yep on the label it says, fresh taste and fresh brewed, but seriously, the machine looks worn out old, but the marketing cup and label really stands out, damn i really loved the design and presentation of it. The coffee tastes good for a 7 eleven brand, mostly the food they sell tasted like some over-processed factory shit, one example is the hotdog buns, low quality and it does not taste good, no offense but thats my own opinion. 

So we stop by on the upper floor of the establishment and waited for the sun to shine, and while we were waiting, all of us were trying to take pictures and sending msgs, then darwin shouted that the place had free wifi connection!, oh my lord I just love tagaytay now! cold winds, nice places, free wifi, damn! I wish i could share it with someone dear to me but im still happy, cause my bestfriends are with me to share the moments.RAR!

I watched as the sun rise in the early morning, and i saw something weird, the tree's in the lower parts at the back of starbucks olivarez was smoking fog!, its amazing to see the fog smoking out of the tree going through the clouds! damn!! its soo damn cool!. looking past those tree's I also saw the sun reflecting on the ocean floor, I was like " Is this some graphic rendering shit?! GOD is rendering graphics!?! direct x Heaven 1.0?!" it looks like a computer generated graphics video, but it was the real thing the only thing missing is a dragon flying with the scene! haha, that time was the time I fell in love with the place. Im astounded and a amazed, Im surely going back to tagaytay again and someday im gonna shoot some good photos of it.

tired but very happy and productive

Another day another productive moment the days are getting close and our time again to shine is coming! and im having a lot of fun these days, even though i skipped some meals for the day and even though its stressful and tiring in myself and in my perception being productive, learning to be responsible and getting to know and making new friends with other people makes me the person i am right now, it makes me complete, it makes me feel that im worth it, and it makes me see a glimpse the bright future i will have for tommorow. When i joined cites i found out that helping other people is what i do like the most, and of course while having fun too and cherishing the memories. so far i have completed the registrations and the setups and plans for this upcoming foundation week at ama for 2010 the tournament will continue the exhibit will flourish and the seminar will show amaers that cites aint just another mediocre organization, its an organization to make people happy to make unforgettable memories and an organization of very talented people with a lot of humour and potential..

Patapon 2 addiction

Ive been kinda unproductive for a while now, well not so very unproductive but i spend most of my time on my home doing nothing and relaxing currently enjoying the 2nd semester due to the fact that I only have two subjects left for the current semester and then i could and should start working for hard earned money afterwards and start being one of the coolest professionals ever.

Well while im currently relaxing and enjoying tha days passing by ive decided to play patapon 2, which is practically a psp game that is seriously over the top, and i mean really really awesome. At first I wonder about the awkward name of the game because patapon in philippine term means "trash" which also means its a piece of crap. When i first heard the name of the game i was like " What were they thinking!" and then laugh my ass out for a minute or so, but when i saw and read some reviews, all the first impression changed and ive becomed really interested in playing it but due to last semester's heavy load i couldn't. But later last week ive started playing it and O my freakin God I was totally overyly hooked up to it, I lately thought that i was brainwashed for it being so cool. damn! I recommend all psp gamers to play the game and see for yourselves!

Patapon 2 is a game that runs on 2d, most of the stuff looked like paper art and drawings but the creativity and the artworks really does make the game a lot cooler, and at first glance you would really think that its just a simple push the button game go on to the finish line and then win the game, but no! its not! the game is soo freakin complex and deep that you might not even have the chance to finish it because of your poor strategy and mistakes!. All the units in the game are speciall all the bosses are special all the patapon classes are special! damn!! this game is so freakin special! just like your girlfriend you'll love it till morning comes again! hahaha!.

Persona 3 took my heart

Damn ive been busy lately doing un organized stuff's and im really pissed of because my laptops got busted! damn!! ive been really reckless, I always carry that laptop with my hands! but when i decided to loosen the strap and carry it with my shoulders when i got to school during the recruitment day, all hell breaks loose and damn when i opened and booted the thing up it justs restarts and boot up again without reaching the loading screen of the operating system. Ive asked a couple of my friends about it and they all say the same thing, its either the mobo's bios or cmos is busted or its a corrupted operating system, its a really tough encounter for me cause the laptop is very outdated, in short terms its old, and its parts are really quite rare these days so its a big burden for me, I just hope that the problem is on the operating system, But i guess it is because i tried to boot a cd on it and it did! but the bad thing is the combo drive is busted too, and its an sbw 242 combo drive, I just hope those pc shops can reformat my laptop I badly need it for my thesis!

Well enough about ruined laptops  now that its busted I have more time playing with my psp again! and guess what more as in more time! Ive watched a preview of persona 3 on the psp, a game which i found really damn boring when i saw it first on the persona 2 version, but when i saw the 3rd installment i was damn surprised! the game is so very original and creativity just over flows over it! Ive played it for a couple of hours and guess what?im again hooked on an rpg game that is well deserved playing, the timeline is epic the characters is epic the persona is awesome and the story is very original! Im addicted to it and guys before you try to play the game make sure you have a lot of time for it its worth the play :D

Design Design Design!Progress Progress Progress!

Ive been currently busy with so many activities and so many schedules and so many curriculum based problems, and im getting really disorganized, ive been living a sedentary lifestyle again and it really does not feel good at all. I want that habit before to go back the way it was and now im planning and organizing and doing all the things I can to make sharp progress specially in the near future to come. Im Currently getting fat again but im wondering why that weight scaled me at 156 lbs, last time i was on 160 lbs but it doesn't look to me as if i was loosing weight but im currently noticing that my biceps and arms are getting slimmer and im scared of getting it thin! I just want it to have a slim sexy fit look that makes a girl want to touch and caress it haha! Im also really frustrated at my deformed body now that i know that i have an endo meso body type which means that I get fat and thin easily but the fats that i get is stored mostly in my love handle area!damn that sucks!

A friend of mine which is also one of the student leaders at school talked to me about the design advertisement of wet and wild 2 and he asked me if i can do the designs of the second event for marketing purposes and avertisements to the co students. without hesitation and doubts i agreed, its all because of the respect i have for all the co leaders and my passion for helping and participating in school organizations.

heres the design:

the design looks really nice with all  the grunge and with the traditional wings popping out of the main design, and so far many of my collegemates likes it and they sure are happy that part 2 is now approved by the college dean. I can't wait to see this on AMA's bulletin boards :D

Reminscing some memories

I then again looked at old memories of images of some of my dear friends, then I again noticed this image of my older bands. We focused on post hardcore that time, so much that we could not even respect any other music genre's. Im their lead vocalist, I am obliged to sing high notes and hardcore screams at the same time! WTF! it seriously is stressfull at first because i don't know how the hell am i going to execute it properly! I even damaged my voice!.

But so far after months of practicing and googling things up I then was able to do it properly, I now have proper respect to screamers and hardcore vocalists! because ive experienced the worse when it comes to screaming and singing! I almost lost my voice because of wrong screaming execution!. Screaming also has its own specific side, its not just sreaming your ass out of the crowd , it also has different executions different vocal ranges and vocal tones and i am telling you right now not anybody can do screaming only the ones with the courage and heart to do it with a mic and in front of many people. Much respect to all screamers out there!

Our back then was playing underground music, post hardcore and mellow, We were so very young and stupid back that time but we had so much fun as we could have :D I missed those days but surely the accomplishments and memories was enough for us to move on :D

Freshmen day

Freshmen day! A day where freshies gather around and have fun!. It was a nice cloudy day on freshmen day, the people are preparing for the performances and my organization CITES is getting ready to help and give our support to the faculty and staff, at first I was wondering whether we will take part at freshmen day because we are not being provided with any information at all but luckily ive talked to mam ria about it and she said the faculty needs some people to assist them today so we've decided to go and help.

Ive went to school at 11 am and they were all waiting for me, I weared the council school organization t shirt for them to recognize who I am.So before we went over to the venue we decided to eat at the cafeteria on our campus, Damn I again ordered my favorite strawberry shake and enjoyed it while eating tapsilog as the the main dish.

So we went to the venue which was a basketball court, we went inside and then a professor blocked me and took noticed of me as a freshmen! all i can say is WTF! that new irritating face really pissed me off! I told her that we were a school organization and we were CITES but she did not even gave a damn!!the only thing she see's that we were CSO officers maybe because she was new at the campus thats why she didn't knew but so far im pissed off!.



So the freshmen event started and it was all the same theme same activities, the only different thing is the block section has their own specified color t shirt which was actually quite nice in my opinion but fairly enough the t-shirt design looks so freakin FUGLY..No offense to the t-shirt makes but please can you squeeze some more creative juices? Damn designers these days are really getting underpaid..tsk tsk..well people thats what you get with underpaid work..underpaid creativity.

We were searching for some new fresh chick faces and sadly, we only saw one which stands out amongst other girls out there, she was tall white and her face was smooth white and creamy Lols! much like a japanese chick to me though but with more of a filipina looks. But it didn't gave me goosebumps though. Well things turn out quite well even though there are only a few of us who participated but so far job well done.

A darn darn day!

I was preparing, reviewing my notes for the special exam i was about to take today at 3 pm, I grabbed my bag went to my room closed it and started reading, and boy o boy its just to boring when you can't understand the thing your reading. I was frustrated but have no choice, even if im so sure that those lectures are useless at my field and my career i have no freakin choice but to learn it! damn, and they even call it free elective wtf, marketing at its best..

So i went out go to school, and when I got there I was searching for the prof but i can't find her, I looked at every floors damn never a single site, I was frustrated Very darn frustrated!my time was freakin wasted damn!!..So i went home but stopped by at robinsons supermarket to buy new foods to taste and post at my foodblog, I have the funds so I bought some stuff's..I even took a picture at the supermarket :

I bought something new choco filipino, it costs 10 bucks and now im enjoying it :D I just drank 2 glasses this night, full creamy cocoa goodness.

I studied wordpress development again..

I communicated with her again..And yet my day has been completed..

Fun and stressful day again at school

Im happy to have slept at 10 pm last night, I woked up at 7 am My parents were annoyed because I snored again, maybe because of the stresstabs I drink daily when I go outside it really helped me battle my anxiety and panic attacks and it relieves the stress. So again I went to school wearing my non rugged skinny jeans and my blue t-shirt Quite a fun regular day for me. I pity the professor i have at school because she really has a hard time explaining and teaching us the lesson plan she has, I don't know if she's really loaded or not but she sure is pitiful to look at and it feels so darn awkward,but hey she really tried hard so I give a round of applause to her :D.

I ate a lot today, Darn a lot, seriously A hell lot!! I ate at breakfast, I ate carbonara, Empanada, and strawberry shake at lunch with matching cornetto ice cream WTF!!,At night I ate kalabasa and chicken with ginataang halo-halo for dessert, the reason? I want to gain that chubby face again but with a slimfit body but seriously Im getting fat again..Im at 157 last time no im at 160 again hehe,but still that 180lb - 160lb loss is a big thing for me :D..

Ive had fun today at the cisco laboratory at the campus, It was really cold and fun because the internet was available. My best bro luigi and I were Freakin laughing and having fun while solving the machine sql problems our teacher told us to do It was epic!.

After that we went down to grab some snacks at the cafeteria but first we went to the deans office and I saw here again..she blew me away again as usual..I looked closely to her eyes..we greeted each other and then she held my t-shirt saying, I really want your t shirt..I replied ah ok so when do you want me to give it?..She laughs I laughed too..Afterwards I was on my way to the stairs down the hall with luigi and then I noticed her..she was staring at me straight..I was like Wat the hell!!With all the people wat was that for?I stared away immediately i might fall to the ground..

Im happy I got my payment from the project I made for a website my company was making for, It was two draft layout I made from scratch heres a sample:

 Mam irish was shocked I was slim already and I looked much better daw hehe what a happy day :D..

I called again

I admit despite being the fact that my heart really beats for somebody else..I missed her, The simple non-complicated Probinsyana who has only one name revolving in her heart and i am lucky that its my name. O yes she do loves me and i mean a hell of a lot, and they say im lucky to have a girl like that in my life, a girl who would give everything for me, be loyal and faithful all the time, caress me when I am sad, make me smile when Im so frustrated, stays with me thru thick and thin, saves me when im in trouble.. but yet something is still missing, a big thing that i see from this other person a thing that makes a puzzle board complete, and I think its the very strong chemistry we have for each other. a mutual bond that we share together, sharing thoughts and experiences until dawn breaks loose, inspiring each other thru each others works, inspiring and telling each other what really is the meaning of life,its pretty rare to meet somebody like that and now im chocked slowley to drown and now im scared to lose her that girl with sweet smiles and beauty and an unbelievable personality.. later then I realized that imperfections are everywhere and im also one of them, but sometimes I wish that I had them both combined so that everything will be perfect.but everything is, its imperfection that makes one perfect...

The call was a short 20 min mark, but every second, every laughter every minute, she cherished it.. and she loved me again more and more..

I am happy..but that chemistry still haunts my soul because it changed my whole life in a moment..

Sleepless night

Ive been sleepless again, Slept just two hours last night I started to sleep at 9 pm and woked at 11 pm damn, sleeping is so freakin hard for me these days, a friend of mine told me to take advantage of it because all the creativity smothers your every inch when your a creative type of person. So for the first time i took advantage of it, I learned to play 4 new songs with my guitar and I really wrote something dramatic and emotional, I dont know how but these words just pops out in my head but somehow it relates to what really i dreamed about some time last year.

Here's the story:

I dreamed, of a girl that completes everything that’s meant to be completed, she stares she laughs she cries, but of all the similarities to other human beings there is a difference she was special, when I saw her she was sad and crying, she felt alone never even knowing who would she lean on, confused with the words others have spoken she was searching, also searching for that light of hope that might give her courage to stand up in darkness. I watched as I continue dreaming, she was different totally different amongst others. I wanted to talk to her, I wanted to feel her hands caressing mine, I wanted to feel what its like to hold a hand that’s just like mine. soft creative and sensitive, she gazed thru the darkness with her white pale skin getting drenched with water, all of a sudden I knew that it was raining in the darkness, I watched as she fell down again crying begging for someone to caress her, help her stand up and keep her warm, I watched as my heart was crushed slowly with what im seeing, I wanted to help, I wanted to make her feel how much I care for her, how much I wanted to know that there is someone who cares, and yet drops of water fell thru my cheeks. But the wall of insecurities constricted me, the ropes of imperfections tied me up I can’t move, I can’t help her for now I am weak for I am imperfect. But thoughts rushed in my head, I realized that I should never even miss a single moment in my life without a single stoned unturned I realized that these were all trials I should conquer, enemies I should defeat, and yet I stood up and the trials faded away like dust on the winds it faded, I ran fast, close to where she is and she shouted, calling for help I caressed her and she saw me suddenly she smiled without hatred and pride I held her in my arms wiped her tears while whispering in her ears “you were never alone and you never will be”..


I was at my bed with the darkness with me, and the hot coffee keeping the heat up on my body while the cold night rushes thru my veins.

So i guess that proves that creativity spills out when I can't sleep at night, and I often think im crazy and shit, but now i know that im not alone :D..