Persona 3 took my heart

Damn ive been busy lately doing un organized stuff's and im really pissed of because my laptops got busted! damn!! ive been really reckless, I always carry that laptop with my hands! but when i decided to loosen the strap and carry it with my shoulders when i got to school during the recruitment day, all hell breaks loose and damn when i opened and booted the thing up it justs restarts and boot up again without reaching the loading screen of the operating system. Ive asked a couple of my friends about it and they all say the same thing, its either the mobo's bios or cmos is busted or its a corrupted operating system, its a really tough encounter for me cause the laptop is very outdated, in short terms its old, and its parts are really quite rare these days so its a big burden for me, I just hope that the problem is on the operating system, But i guess it is because i tried to boot a cd on it and it did! but the bad thing is the combo drive is busted too, and its an sbw 242 combo drive, I just hope those pc shops can reformat my laptop I badly need it for my thesis!

Well enough about ruined laptops  now that its busted I have more time playing with my psp again! and guess what more as in more time! Ive watched a preview of persona 3 on the psp, a game which i found really damn boring when i saw it first on the persona 2 version, but when i saw the 3rd installment i was damn surprised! the game is so very original and creativity just over flows over it! Ive played it for a couple of hours and guess what?im again hooked on an rpg game that is well deserved playing, the timeline is epic the characters is epic the persona is awesome and the story is very original! Im addicted to it and guys before you try to play the game make sure you have a lot of time for it its worth the play :D

Design Design Design!Progress Progress Progress!

Ive been currently busy with so many activities and so many schedules and so many curriculum based problems, and im getting really disorganized, ive been living a sedentary lifestyle again and it really does not feel good at all. I want that habit before to go back the way it was and now im planning and organizing and doing all the things I can to make sharp progress specially in the near future to come. Im Currently getting fat again but im wondering why that weight scaled me at 156 lbs, last time i was on 160 lbs but it doesn't look to me as if i was loosing weight but im currently noticing that my biceps and arms are getting slimmer and im scared of getting it thin! I just want it to have a slim sexy fit look that makes a girl want to touch and caress it haha! Im also really frustrated at my deformed body now that i know that i have an endo meso body type which means that I get fat and thin easily but the fats that i get is stored mostly in my love handle area!damn that sucks!

A friend of mine which is also one of the student leaders at school talked to me about the design advertisement of wet and wild 2 and he asked me if i can do the designs of the second event for marketing purposes and avertisements to the co students. without hesitation and doubts i agreed, its all because of the respect i have for all the co leaders and my passion for helping and participating in school organizations.

heres the design:

the design looks really nice with all  the grunge and with the traditional wings popping out of the main design, and so far many of my collegemates likes it and they sure are happy that part 2 is now approved by the college dean. I can't wait to see this on AMA's bulletin boards :D

Reminscing some memories

I then again looked at old memories of images of some of my dear friends, then I again noticed this image of my older bands. We focused on post hardcore that time, so much that we could not even respect any other music genre's. Im their lead vocalist, I am obliged to sing high notes and hardcore screams at the same time! WTF! it seriously is stressfull at first because i don't know how the hell am i going to execute it properly! I even damaged my voice!.

But so far after months of practicing and googling things up I then was able to do it properly, I now have proper respect to screamers and hardcore vocalists! because ive experienced the worse when it comes to screaming and singing! I almost lost my voice because of wrong screaming execution!. Screaming also has its own specific side, its not just sreaming your ass out of the crowd , it also has different executions different vocal ranges and vocal tones and i am telling you right now not anybody can do screaming only the ones with the courage and heart to do it with a mic and in front of many people. Much respect to all screamers out there!

Our back then was playing underground music, post hardcore and mellow, We were so very young and stupid back that time but we had so much fun as we could have :D I missed those days but surely the accomplishments and memories was enough for us to move on :D

Freshmen day

Freshmen day! A day where freshies gather around and have fun!. It was a nice cloudy day on freshmen day, the people are preparing for the performances and my organization CITES is getting ready to help and give our support to the faculty and staff, at first I was wondering whether we will take part at freshmen day because we are not being provided with any information at all but luckily ive talked to mam ria about it and she said the faculty needs some people to assist them today so we've decided to go and help.

Ive went to school at 11 am and they were all waiting for me, I weared the council school organization t shirt for them to recognize who I am.So before we went over to the venue we decided to eat at the cafeteria on our campus, Damn I again ordered my favorite strawberry shake and enjoyed it while eating tapsilog as the the main dish.

So we went to the venue which was a basketball court, we went inside and then a professor blocked me and took noticed of me as a freshmen! all i can say is WTF! that new irritating face really pissed me off! I told her that we were a school organization and we were CITES but she did not even gave a damn!!the only thing she see's that we were CSO officers maybe because she was new at the campus thats why she didn't knew but so far im pissed off!.



So the freshmen event started and it was all the same theme same activities, the only different thing is the block section has their own specified color t shirt which was actually quite nice in my opinion but fairly enough the t-shirt design looks so freakin FUGLY..No offense to the t-shirt makes but please can you squeeze some more creative juices? Damn designers these days are really getting underpaid..tsk tsk..well people thats what you get with underpaid work..underpaid creativity.

We were searching for some new fresh chick faces and sadly, we only saw one which stands out amongst other girls out there, she was tall white and her face was smooth white and creamy Lols! much like a japanese chick to me though but with more of a filipina looks. But it didn't gave me goosebumps though. Well things turn out quite well even though there are only a few of us who participated but so far job well done.

A darn darn day!

I was preparing, reviewing my notes for the special exam i was about to take today at 3 pm, I grabbed my bag went to my room closed it and started reading, and boy o boy its just to boring when you can't understand the thing your reading. I was frustrated but have no choice, even if im so sure that those lectures are useless at my field and my career i have no freakin choice but to learn it! damn, and they even call it free elective wtf, marketing at its best..

So i went out go to school, and when I got there I was searching for the prof but i can't find her, I looked at every floors damn never a single site, I was frustrated Very darn frustrated!my time was freakin wasted damn!!..So i went home but stopped by at robinsons supermarket to buy new foods to taste and post at my foodblog, I have the funds so I bought some stuff's..I even took a picture at the supermarket :

I bought something new choco filipino, it costs 10 bucks and now im enjoying it :D I just drank 2 glasses this night, full creamy cocoa goodness.

I studied wordpress development again..

I communicated with her again..And yet my day has been completed..

Fun and stressful day again at school

Im happy to have slept at 10 pm last night, I woked up at 7 am My parents were annoyed because I snored again, maybe because of the stresstabs I drink daily when I go outside it really helped me battle my anxiety and panic attacks and it relieves the stress. So again I went to school wearing my non rugged skinny jeans and my blue t-shirt Quite a fun regular day for me. I pity the professor i have at school because she really has a hard time explaining and teaching us the lesson plan she has, I don't know if she's really loaded or not but she sure is pitiful to look at and it feels so darn awkward,but hey she really tried hard so I give a round of applause to her :D.

I ate a lot today, Darn a lot, seriously A hell lot!! I ate at breakfast, I ate carbonara, Empanada, and strawberry shake at lunch with matching cornetto ice cream WTF!!,At night I ate kalabasa and chicken with ginataang halo-halo for dessert, the reason? I want to gain that chubby face again but with a slimfit body but seriously Im getting fat again..Im at 157 last time no im at 160 again hehe,but still that 180lb - 160lb loss is a big thing for me :D..

Ive had fun today at the cisco laboratory at the campus, It was really cold and fun because the internet was available. My best bro luigi and I were Freakin laughing and having fun while solving the machine sql problems our teacher told us to do It was epic!.

After that we went down to grab some snacks at the cafeteria but first we went to the deans office and I saw here again..she blew me away again as usual..I looked closely to her eyes..we greeted each other and then she held my t-shirt saying, I really want your t shirt..I replied ah ok so when do you want me to give it?..She laughs I laughed too..Afterwards I was on my way to the stairs down the hall with luigi and then I noticed her..she was staring at me straight..I was like Wat the hell!!With all the people wat was that for?I stared away immediately i might fall to the ground..

Im happy I got my payment from the project I made for a website my company was making for, It was two draft layout I made from scratch heres a sample:

 Mam irish was shocked I was slim already and I looked much better daw hehe what a happy day :D..

I called again

I admit despite being the fact that my heart really beats for somebody else..I missed her, The simple non-complicated Probinsyana who has only one name revolving in her heart and i am lucky that its my name. O yes she do loves me and i mean a hell of a lot, and they say im lucky to have a girl like that in my life, a girl who would give everything for me, be loyal and faithful all the time, caress me when I am sad, make me smile when Im so frustrated, stays with me thru thick and thin, saves me when im in trouble.. but yet something is still missing, a big thing that i see from this other person a thing that makes a puzzle board complete, and I think its the very strong chemistry we have for each other. a mutual bond that we share together, sharing thoughts and experiences until dawn breaks loose, inspiring each other thru each others works, inspiring and telling each other what really is the meaning of life,its pretty rare to meet somebody like that and now im chocked slowley to drown and now im scared to lose her that girl with sweet smiles and beauty and an unbelievable personality.. later then I realized that imperfections are everywhere and im also one of them, but sometimes I wish that I had them both combined so that everything will be perfect.but everything is, its imperfection that makes one perfect...

The call was a short 20 min mark, but every second, every laughter every minute, she cherished it.. and she loved me again more and more..

I am happy..but that chemistry still haunts my soul because it changed my whole life in a moment..

Sleepless night

Ive been sleepless again, Slept just two hours last night I started to sleep at 9 pm and woked at 11 pm damn, sleeping is so freakin hard for me these days, a friend of mine told me to take advantage of it because all the creativity smothers your every inch when your a creative type of person. So for the first time i took advantage of it, I learned to play 4 new songs with my guitar and I really wrote something dramatic and emotional, I dont know how but these words just pops out in my head but somehow it relates to what really i dreamed about some time last year.

Here's the story:

I dreamed, of a girl that completes everything that’s meant to be completed, she stares she laughs she cries, but of all the similarities to other human beings there is a difference she was special, when I saw her she was sad and crying, she felt alone never even knowing who would she lean on, confused with the words others have spoken she was searching, also searching for that light of hope that might give her courage to stand up in darkness. I watched as I continue dreaming, she was different totally different amongst others. I wanted to talk to her, I wanted to feel her hands caressing mine, I wanted to feel what its like to hold a hand that’s just like mine. soft creative and sensitive, she gazed thru the darkness with her white pale skin getting drenched with water, all of a sudden I knew that it was raining in the darkness, I watched as she fell down again crying begging for someone to caress her, help her stand up and keep her warm, I watched as my heart was crushed slowly with what im seeing, I wanted to help, I wanted to make her feel how much I care for her, how much I wanted to know that there is someone who cares, and yet drops of water fell thru my cheeks. But the wall of insecurities constricted me, the ropes of imperfections tied me up I can’t move, I can’t help her for now I am weak for I am imperfect. But thoughts rushed in my head, I realized that I should never even miss a single moment in my life without a single stoned unturned I realized that these were all trials I should conquer, enemies I should defeat, and yet I stood up and the trials faded away like dust on the winds it faded, I ran fast, close to where she is and she shouted, calling for help I caressed her and she saw me suddenly she smiled without hatred and pride I held her in my arms wiped her tears while whispering in her ears “you were never alone and you never will be”..


I was at my bed with the darkness with me, and the hot coffee keeping the heat up on my body while the cold night rushes thru my veins.

So i guess that proves that creativity spills out when I can't sleep at night, and I often think im crazy and shit, but now i know that im not alone :D..